Tribute

>>Play "Tribute" from RageCage and Jables if you're ables. I just found something in my email that I had sent to myself, and I was curious as to what I wanted to save. I had had it in my inbox so long that I forgot. Once I opened it, I realized at once what it was. It was Krystal's explanation for why I am like I am. Here it goes:

>>My best best buddy said this to me: "You have a wall up and you've built it very high because of all the things that've hurt you. And everytime you get more hurt, it gets higher. You're strong and you're smart and you're reserved and you're DIFFERENT. People are afraid of that, because no matter how much they try, they don't know how to handle you. And you don't make it any easier. You have a clear mind that won't let you do stupid things, because you knwo you're better than those actions. People get angry, because that's the only way they get attention. And you won't do it. It makes them feel like you don't want friends, because you're not going to make yourself into a baboon for them. , that is NOT a bad thing."

>>Truthfully, for awhile, I was convinced it was a bad thing. But now I don't really care. I've learned to accept that I'm an outcast in so many aspects. Definitely when it comes to school---out of IB, which is the weird smart kids of the school along with AP, my friends and I are the weirdos amongst the IB weirdos. It's almost exclusive, how tight the cliques are in IB. You really have to watch your back and your mouth. It's maddening. But it's always been like that for me, even before IB. At Swayze's, the people I was expected to mingle with there were all Krystal's friends that were more interested in her and in each other than they were in trying to deal with my presence. In my older, more faithful ... can I even call them friends? I don't talk to them. No, they're Ferret's friends. They're my long-time acquaintances that I've known by name for years, but have no real connection to. Whatever they are, we ignore each other 99.98% of the time. Mostly my fault, though, I must admit.

>>In conclusion...I'm very thankful for the few people that I can be 100% myself around without an ounce of worry: Krystal, Ashley, and more recently, Cody. Thanks guys. You really mean a lot to me. Love.