Amurikin

>>Wait, wait, wait: you didn't understand? "Amurikin" is an emerging language used often in today's times. It's what English (or "Engrish" in Amurikin) is turning into, slowly but surely. Working at Arby's I get examples of this often:

(Through the drive-thru speakers.) "Hello, welcome to Arby's, may I take your order please?"
"Yes, could I get a Jamocha shake?"
"Certainly. What size?"
"Jamocha."
At this point I have to stop myself for a moment, catch my breath, and remember that in Amurikin it is common to replace words you hear as you see fit for communication efficiency. What they imagined I asked was the flavor again. So I take a deep breath and attempt to ask with a straight face, "I'm sorry, but what size? We have Value, Small, Medium, and Large." They then get the picture.

>>Another Amurikin word-swap: Again, I'm taking a drive-thru order and they tell me they want whatever size shake. So I ask, "What flavor would you like that to be?" "Jamaica." Perhaps instead of it being a word swap it's merely a vowel swap: "oh" for "ay" in this case. Either way Amurikin is very versatile in the sense that it has no logical patterns.

>>The language has even reinvented contractions! Things like "we'ze", "I'mma", "youz"...the rule, I think, is to add extra unrelated letters and if you feel so inclined remove some from the original Engrish word. Well, I suppose that works for all nouns in the Amurikin dictionary as well: "Git in the core!" translates to "Get in the car!" It's really fascinating.

>>Btw? The National Adult Literacy Survey of 1993 stated the following findings:

Nearly half of America's adults are poor readers, or "functionally illiterate." They can't carry out simply tasks like balancing check books, reading drug labels or writing essays for a job.

>>So it makes sense that now in 2011, those people in the early 90s who raised children...out of this emerges the new Amurikin language complimented by our already distorted American dream of selfishness and individualism.