F&W The Chew

>>So recently I was having a bowl of ice cream, Neapolitan to be specific, and sitting in my mess of a living room watching The Chew. It's only a mess because the kitchen's being repainted, so it's got two rooms' worth of furniture in it. Anyway, I'm watching this show and there are five or six people onstage, all hosts who can cook and describe food in ways that make your mouth water and one of them is a guest from The View. I recognized her by face but not by name. Apparently she just got married.

>>Anyway, they were prepping the immense audience for Thanksgiving. What caught my eye was this:

>>Stuffed Acorn Squash. The leafy stuff? Collard greens, basil leaves, and some other stuff but I forget. It's mouth-watering, isn't it? Now if only I could go to Ingles and find this without being afraid. *Pulls out list of farmer's markets...*

F&W Damn It Pollan

>>I have now become afraid to eat.

>>Let me expand on the topic. The phrase, "we [the American people] tend to look at food as a collection of nutrients, not as food," rings in my mind every time I go to reach for something that was about to go in my mouth. I had cereal bars that boasted, "Only 100 calories!" which used to comfort me. I proceeded in reading the box further and the marshmallow coating was actual marshmallow-flavored coating...I know that the typical tastes America is used to is Greasy, Sugary, and/or Fatty, but why replace marshmallow coating's Sugary with marshmallow-flavored's Fakey? I ate it anyway due to needing something to eat while driving, but nevertheless I wasn't happy about it as I would have been had I not known.

>>I went to Ingles to buy just some basic groceries; things that I tend to eat often. I went to get milk and did a double-take. On the right hand, there was the milk I usually got. 2% off-brand, like $3 maybe. Healthier for you, delicious. Food, Inc. and PETA crept into my mind then...Sarah, those cows have infections in their milking parts. The pus gets in your milk, and even though they pasteurize it out and your body will never know the difference, that cow's not getting any better. Don't put your money on unhappy cows! That's financing no change! Then I look to the left. Organic milk and happy cows costed $6. Double! For a gallon of milk! I ended up not purchasing either and walking away, remembering that my mother had some she was going to give me. Still, it should be easier to go shopping.

>>Somewhere in all these influences I heard someone say tomatoes were ripened with gases to be sold out of season. I highly doubt that is restricted to only tomatoes. So when I finally veered on a limb and went to the produce section, shopping there on my own for the first time, I felt that I didn't know anything. What was in season? Rather, what wasn't going to be ripened with gases? What would I actually eat? How long would it keep in my kitchen? How much should I buy if it only lasts however imaginary time I determined in my head?

>>Shopping for food shouldn't be this hard. Eating shouldn't be this hard. It really figures that I finally get my stomach back and now I'm too mortified to put anything in it.

F&W Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead

>>Around the time that Food, Inc. was introduced to my life, I decided to try and peruse the internet for different things which would basically horrify me in the same way. You know how the scientific method is--if the experiment is done once, it's not believed until everybody else has done it and came to the same conclusion.

>>The result? This nifty documentary which may have the weight-loss diet answer that America needs. What's the secret? Listen to what your mother's been telling you for ages: eat more vegetables. In fact, eat more fruits and veggies than any other food you eat. The show takes it to an extreme; Joe the protagonist goes on a 60-day juice fast and gradually adds exercise into his daily routine. You can see the difference on the cover.

>>Also, if you think that you don't need to lose weight so this sort of thing is too extreme and not for you, a 10-day juice fast showed that it helped a lot of people with day-to-day pains like headaches, backaches, and generally they just felt more energetic.

>>Compared to Food, Inc., I wasn't mortified by how cows standing in their own feces or shocked at Monsanto, but I was surprised to see what eating real food can do for you. The only downside to this fast is that the first couple days you're detoxing and you feel sad (JUST in those first couple days!). A lot of us feel like we don't want to get out of bed as it is, so why not try it? The end result is oodles of energy, more intense focus, and for Joe Cross, no longer having to take any medication.

F&W I'm Thinking Arby's

>>Before entering the work force, I never thought that I could ever work in a restaurant. I thought being around the same food all the time would turn me away from that food and make me a picky eater all over again, like I was when I was a child. Not to mention I figured anywhere I worked would be nasty and turn me away from wanting to eat out altogether. In retrospect, I realize I was just silly and had no idea what was really going on.

>>As of sometime in September, I have officially been working at Arby’s for about a year and a half. Certain things on the menu—such as the Reuben, the French Dip and Swiss, the Philly Beef Sub, the Classic Italian, and probably more—always stick out to me when I go to other restaurants. At that other restaurant I think to myself, “Oh, I can eat that at work.” For a split second I feel rebellious and look for something else to eat, but that familiarity pulls me back to the common option between the two restaurants and I get it. It’s delightful because while I’m eating it, I’m not just enjoying it; I’m comparing it in my head to our version. Who is cheaper? Not just in how much I am spending, but how much the restaurant spends on making the sandwich, for instance the Classic Italian at Arby’s only has a few banana peppers on it but if you got it at Subway, you could get probably three times as more. Which tastes better? Which sauce is better? Which bread is softer? Is their sauerkraut edible? How is the meat’s texture? (At Arby’s we pride ourselves on getting the meat sliced as thin as possible, which affects the flavor immensely.)

>>Sometimes the people are so unbelievable I want to scream, sometimes the hours are so slow all I want to do is go home, sometimes the rushes are too much and my brain may as well be mush, and sometimes the works seems so monotonous that after this long I can’t believe I still work there, but in the end it’s worth it. There’s that small satisfaction in the paycheck (of course), in winning the glove-ball war among colleagues for a brief moment, in telling sly jokes through the headsets’ walky-talky feature, in seeing returning customers smile as you greet them by name, in seeing the small child sweetly ask for a spoon so they can eat their Value Vanilla Shake like it’s ice cream…it’s good mood food, after all.

F&W Hand Me That Nintendo Controller

>>If only life were like a videogame.

>>In Zelda Ocarina of Time, some Lon Lon Milk hits the spot like nothing else. In Harvest Moon, you can find random berries in the wilderness in the outskirts of town and for some reason not be afraid of poison. In Earthbound, fresh eggs heal a little bit of HP when you’re in a tight spot, unless of course you wait too long, and then it turns into a little yellow chick and takes up a spot in your inventory. Unless you’re willing to just drop it off in the middle of the dungeon, anyway. Mario has mushrooms, Donkey Kong has bananas, Pokemon have bait (at least in the Safari Zone) and rare candies, Dark Cloud 2’s Toady eats weapons…

>>I say this because there are immediate positive affects to what they eat. Aside from maybe Kirby, most games’ protagonists benefit from eating. A player eats a hamburger and their life points are increased. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could eat a hamburger and not be counting calories in our head or worrying if our stomach liner can take it? In the game, your hunger is not merely tamed for the time being, but your living ability is strengthened by eating! What I mean by living ability is that you literally have more life, thus you can take more hits before losing a life.

>>We all wished as a kid that we were Mario and that we could simply eat a mushroom so we’d be tall enough to ride the roller coaster. Likewise, we wished when we were older for the mushroom effects to wear off so we could fit in the teacups at Magic Kingdom.

>>Yes: if only life were like an RPG game.

F&W Cravings

>>I am starting to believe that my stomach has a mind of its own, or maybe it’s just got multiple personality disorder. A few years ago, it was a Hispanic and constantly craved nachos and cheese, meat, salsa, and lettuce (nachos y queso, carne de res, salsa, y lechuga…), in my late highschool years it was a twelve-year-old who microwaved all their food, consuming Americanized super-processed Mexican foods [taquitos, pizza rolls (which are essentially empanadas), burritos, chimichangas, the list goes on] and pizza, and all that time I had prided myself on never really craving sweets. Perhaps this is the reason why I was under the delusion that cravings were meant to lead us toward food containing the certain nutrients the body was low on.

>>But now it’s hit. The estrogen has been full-on for a few years now, getting me past puberty, and now with nothing else better to do to my body (since I’ve not gotten it pregnant) it now sends waves through my nerves, screeching, “Chocolate! I need more chocolate!” My surroundings are of no help. I work at Arby’s 5 of 7 days a week…the shake machine has chocolate, the Jamocha Oreo Shake (medium size only) requires chocolate swirl in the cup so that chocolate is always there, there’s chocolate icing for the turnovers, those specific turnovers have chocolate filling, and there’s chocolate milk…so. Much. Chocolate. Not to mention my particular Arby’s has a CVS right next door just filled with Reese’s, Snickers, Milky Ways, and so many other chocolate bars for about a dollar…

>>So now when I have a craving, it’s an internal debate. Do I want to satiate that desire, feed the whim, or would I rather hold true to my fitness challenge?

>>…Usually the shake machine wins.

F&W And Eat Yo Brains

>>The other day, I decided to visit my family, more specifically my mother and younger brother. He’s almost six years old and has more love to share than anyone I’ve met in a good while, so his innocent presence and sing-song voice is a breath of fresh air in the midst of my immensely cluttered life. Again and again it has happened where as soon as he sees me and our hellos are exchanged, the first thing he pries me for is to show him how to beat Plants vs. Zombies. For those of you who don’t know, it’s a videogame that has become multi-platform (PC, Nintendo DS, as an app on your iDevice-of-choice, perhaps others) and obviously, this is the zombie apocalypse and you must protect yourself from the various types of zombies by planting plants, such as “peashooters” which shoot seeds, kernels, watermelons, and many other plant-related things at the opposing force.

>>What does this have to do with food and writing, you ask? The food part. Zombies eat brains. The thought seems so foreign to humanity, Hannibal Lector was frowned at for enjoying it (especially when he shared it with a young child and called it lamb), yet there are people on the other side of the Earth who eat monkey brain fresh. People write books that sell about preparing for the zombie apocalypse. Film has a broad range of comedy and horror films involving zombies. I am part of an event of Facebook called “Zombie Apocalypse Party” which is supposed to occur December 21, 2012, and I am one of over three thousand people who have responded if they are attending. (I put “maybe” because you never know if you’re guaranteed tomorrow.) There are even catchy love songs about the forbidden love between a zombie and human.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCVMuevcCvY

>>But boiling back down to the Plants vs. Zombies game—it’s a fight for survival. The plants claim to be protecting their planters (you, the player), but they benefit in being planted by their species still existing. You the planter are fighting to be able to plant another day and eat from your armed forces oddly enough. The zombies are fighting to fill their stomach. It really just comes to the fact that all parties involved in the game are hungry. My point? Play the game. It's intoxicating and fun for all ages.